Of meekness

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Mark 5:5

Ps Lee Choo was preaching about meekness being strength under control, and it brought to mind a status I had posted up a few weeks before, which went something like, "but I thought I was stronger than this."

It's not that I'm weak. I'm far from weak. I have strength, but it's a wild kind of strength. I have the kind of strength that holds me together until I break; which is a really silly sounding statement, but true enough. Thinking again, I may be too strong - which is why I need to be broken.

The thing about meekness (and I love this) is that it requires innate strength. You can't be meek if you're weak. It's no big deal giving in all the time if you don't have the strength to fight. True? Strength wields power and authority. Meekness, being strength under control, gives you a choice: to retaliate or to submit.

And therein lies the conundrum. Actually, it's not a conundrum, I've just always wanted to use that phrase. :D

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be...
[frail - jars of clay]

The problem really is that people are afraid of being broken. People - I - am afraid of being weak, or being seen to be weak. And that in itself is its own weakness. Because I refuse to lay down my 'rights' or I refuse to submit to discipline, I build up my own pitfalls. Sure enough, things seem to be going fine; it seems as if we're coping - until something snaps. Until the straw falls that breaks the camel's back.

That's the problem with unharnessed strength. It breaks at all the wrong places; it breaks when it matters the most.

It's just enough to be strong
In the broken places, in the broken places
It's just enough to be strong
Should the world rely on faith tonight
[faith enough - jars of clay]

Before you can have meekness, you must have brokenness, so Ps Lee Choo said, and it is that submission of all you are to discipline that allows you to harness your true inner strength and enhance it in ways that you've never thought possible. Sometimes it isn't the awesome things that you think you're going to achieve that makes the difference. Often enough, it's that quiet word of encouragement, or that silent vote of confidence to put the right person in the right place (although by all means, I should be the boss, or I want that post - and it degenerates into a political squable) that changes the whole atmosphere of the thing.

And maybe in the end, it all boils down again to choice; being big enough to choose the right thing over the selfish thing. Choosing to put yourself in a position where God can break you again (though really, what qualifications does he/she have?). Places where He can stretch you (Not again, I thought we were through with that!). Situations where you cannot run away.

It really isn't about blind obedience, or silently accepting the axe that falls. It's not even about having no opinion and therefore not caring what the outcome is. It's about knowing your strength and arguing with God all the way, but finally choosing His will over your own and in that way taking on His yoke, which is easy because it fits you to a T.

Because meekness is strength under control.

[major train of thought courtesy of Ps Lee Choo, SIB KL]
edit: see GCB's post. Mmm, yummy.