"This is Caspian, Sir," he said. And Caspian knelt and kissed the Lion's paw.
"Welcome, Prince," said Aslan. "Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?"
"I - I don't think I do, Sir," said Caspian. "I'm only a kid."
"Good," said Aslan. "If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been a proof that you were not. Therefore, under us and under the High King, you shall be King of Narnia, Lord of Cair Paravel, and Emperor of the Lone Islands"excerpt from Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis
This conversation often runs through my brain when I think about the GCF in Penang. Of course, it's nothing as impressive as being crowned King, but still, it's the taking up of leadership, of responsibility.
Often, I feel inadequate. I feel small and weak. In the main, I feel stupid and frustrated. At the core of me is a nugget of fear. Why am I here? Why am I doing this? I'm not old enough for this, not strong enough, not man enough.
And yet it feels right. It feels like I'm stepping into the unknown, ready for an adventure. It feels like taking fear by the reins and letting faith reign.
So maybe he's right. If I had felt myself sufficient, it would have been proof that I were not.
Because this way, it's really not me. It's Him.