Tuesday 29 May 2007


...You have been provoked much in the faith... you will be one who provokes others... a provocateur... you're so special... When God made you, he threw away the mold... God's put you on a pedestal... it's really not you... but you've become comfortable there... you're wondering what you're doing here...

I don't want to be here.
The pedestal doesn't belong to me. Only to You.
I don't want to be comfortable here.

Why provoke? You know I hate a fight. It makes me upset. It's hard. I don't like it.

I don't understand Your purposes.

And yet, not my will, but Yours be done.

Friday 25 May 2007


Far too much
My hands won't hold
Dreams too large
For my eyes to behold

My heart's not large enough
To hold all You will
And yet,
Let me be what You want me to be

You've given too much!
I can't handle all
that You want
All that You've said
All that You've given
Unless You handle it for me.

My hands won't hold
they're not strong enough.
My heart won't hold
it's not large enough
and yet You are enough
You are enough
Yes, You are.

Are these dreams of You?
But where else would they come from?
If You've birthed them, Lord,
You carry them through.
You pull them forth.
You wean them.
Nurture them.
I cannot.
Not without You.

Take them.
Use them as You will.

I am deathly afraid.
You are too big for me.
At times, I am too big for me.
I was not made for big things.
I am too afraid.

And yet,
Take me.
I will.
As You will.