Tuesday, 2 September 2014

#30to30: Day 22 - The difference your community makes

I realise that over the past few posts I've written the word "community" quite a lot. Saturday night, when Monica was dropping me at the airport after hanging out all day at Berkeley and San Francisco, we (or at least I) talked a little bit about the importance of community, especially the church community. It feels weird coming from me, because I've always seen myself as the loner, the one who would rather not bother going out and being social and who really doesn't care if I'm alone all day. Except on the days that I do care.

Humans are inherently selfish and self-centred and it's really your family and eventually your community who teaches you how not to be. The places you've lived in changes your perspectives, and the people you hang out with regularly has a huge impact on the way you see the world and your place in it.

I've been blessed with great people to hang out with even in the midst of my introverted anti-socialness. People who spur me on with their life stories, people who are not afraid to talk about the difficult things in life, people who are always willing to ask the spiritual questions that make me want to cry.

I would not be who I am today without all of you.

Proverbs 4:20 - 27
My son, pay attention to what I say;
turn your ear to my words.
Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
for they are life to those who find them
and health to one’s whole body.
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to thec paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

Monday, 1 September 2014

#30to30: Day 23 - Airport Poetry

Six in the morning
Touched down, bleary eyed
In search of a place to rest

Seven in the morning
Warmed by hot tea
Looking for something to see

Eight in the morning
Missing the people
Who're hanging out for bubble tea

Nine in the morning
Writing this post
Thinking of going back to sleep.


Thank you for reading my lame attempt at "poetry". My better attempts were in those angsty college days, full of rhymes and rhythms and, I dunno, hidden meanings. I guess simplicity works for me these days.

I am in transit home, sitting in the HK Airport, being too lazy to either go out to town or go shopping in the airport. I have my laptop, free wifi, two books, an ipad and a kindle. I don't think I'll get bored.
I suppose I'll take a nap before looking for lunch.

Sunday, 31 August 2014

#30to30: Day 24 - Selamat Hari Merdeka!

I'm going to be celebrating Merdeka somewhere up in the sky over a bunch of different countries. It's a little sad. Then again, it's not as if I would actually be doing anything huge or different back home. 

I thank God for Malaysia and all that she has been to me. A home. A familiarity. A comfort. A safe place. I'm not very good at adapting to change, or to new things, and I suppose that's why I've always returned home, I guess, besides the fact that I keep thinking, if everyone goes, who will stay?

We always hear about people being called to go. Go to the mission field. Leave your family, leave your comforts, leave your job and bring the gospel to the unreached. And yet, lift up your eyes. The fields are white for harvest. You don't lift up your eyes and see across the world. You lift up your eyes and look across the street where you live, at the person in the cubicle next to you, at your classmates and your lecturers, at the homeless in the street, at the people who walk by you every day, who talk like you and think like you. And I believe that for everyone who is called to go, there are more who are called to stay. 

Stay in a Malaysia that is crumbling, because who else will be her strength? 
Stay in a Malaysia that is corrupt, because who else will be her justice?
Stay in a Malaysia that is in pain, because who else will be her healer?
Stay in a Malaysia that is in chains, because who else will be her freedom?

There are so many things wrong with our nation, but then again, no nation is perfect. Everywhere you go, you will find something to complain about, you will find corrupt and illogical practices in government. The answer is not ditching it. The answer is asking the question, "So what should I do about it?"

It doesn't mean that you will be involved in politics. It doesn't mean that you start a revolution and march along the streets. It just means that you make your voice heard, one way or another, through your votes, through the way you deal with people, through the way you bring up your children, through the way you slowly change the culture.

Because really, what makes up a nation?
The people.
And when the people change, the nation changes too. 

Saturday, 30 August 2014

#30to30: Day 25 - Dear America, thank you for loving me

It's the end of my business trip in San Jose. I'm flying home tonight, and I don't really know what to feel. I'm a little sad and heartbroken to leave my new friends and community, and yet relieved to be finally heading home. I feel like I'm going to miss out on a lot of things that are going to happen here, and yet I'm excited for the things that are happening back home. 

I know I'll be back again so it isn't forever goodbye. Still, it's like I'm leaving a piece of my heart here. Thank you for welcoming me into your houses and  hearts. I'll miss hanging out with you guys.

See you in January.

Friday, 29 August 2014

#30to30: Day 26 - #Fridayflash

I've been involved with the #Fridayflash community on and off since I started my twitter account in late 2009. It's a great way to network with other writers (when I'm not too lazy to blog hop) and to have some fun, quick fiction to read.

So anyway, in conjunction with that, here's a little flash fiction. :)
Writing prompt: Name


He lay on his bed, staring at the white ceiling. His blankets lay crumpled around him where he'd tossed them off during the night. He couldn't get her out of his head, even though two years had passed since the divorce. Two years, to the dot, though why he remembered the exact date of the divorce and not their wedding day was a mystery to him. Two years, and her name still wouldn't stop ricocheting in his head.
I miss you.
The curtains weren't doing much to keep the sunlight out, so he got up and sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his feet. He studied his toes, and the hair on them, desperately trying to find something that would keep his eyes away from the ring that lay on his bedside table. He wish he'd thrown it away. But he couldn't; not when he still thought of her so often. She'd probably thrown her ring away, or given it to whoever she was with now.
Won't you come back?
Maybe he'd call Maddie today, he decided, see if she'd like to hang out. She was a nice enough girl; kept his mind away from Sharon, distracted his heart from the stabbing pain that refused to go away. He should be over this by now. He reached for his cell phone and heard something drop. He bent down and picked up the ring absently, almost mindlessly. Turning it round in his hand, he closed his eyes and thought of her, her name changing in his head, as it always did when he held it.
What was good has turned to evil.
He needed to get his life back in order.

Thursday, 28 August 2014

#30to30: Day 27 - Childhood friends rock

I've made great friends along the way, but there's something comforting about the familiarity of friends you've known for your entire life. Well, maybe not your entire life yet, but at least from when you were in school.

Sometimes you drift apart. It happens. Life gets in the way. Distance does make a difference. Time takes its toll.
But then you somehow get into contact again, and it feels like you've never left. Besides, they know your deepest darkest secrets and your most annoying quirks but still talk to you anyway. Who else does that?

#30to30: Day 28 - Letting go

The thing about life is this: it's filled with moments that you need to let go of.

Some of these are bad stuff - times when you were hurt, disappointed, or trod over. It could be times when you did stupid things and had to face the consequences. It's usually easy to let these go because you don't want to remember them. It hurts too much. But at times, it's difficult to let them go as well because you've grown to let pain define you; you've started to think of yourself in terms of what you're NOT. (Or you're just secretly a masochist.)

Then there are the good stuff - the things you've achieved, the accolades you've earned, the great experiences you cling to. You remember these with a little bit of pride and nostalgia and it's hard to let go of, because why should you? 
And yet, sometimes it's our own successes that hold us back, because we're so satisfied with what we already have that we stop moving forward. And sometimes, we're so caught up in the memory of what used to be that we can't grasp the new thing that's coming, instead ending up wallowing in the bitterness of "when I was young(er)".

Letting go. 
It's not easy, and I still struggle with it. 
But at least I am aware of the need to let go. 

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

#30to30: Day 29 - Work anniversary!

Today marks my first year at my current job!

There are many things to be thankful for in this job, summarized into three MAJOR DEALS for me:

  1. No need for super crazy overtime (there are still deadlines but... *shrug*)
  2. I get to travel to the U.S! 
  3. I have time to write. (When I'm not being lazy)
It hasn't been all smooth-flowing. There have been some bumpy-ish patches, but overall, I've had a pretty good year here. :)