Tuesday, 16 September 2014

#30to30: Day 8 - an ode to #tea

You have been my constant companion through late nights and long days, the one that sees me through the joys of 50,000 words as well as the pain of overtime. You are the one who keeps me awake through the sleepy overcast afternoons and focuses me on tired mornings. You keep me snug, warming up my insides. 

Thank you for your caffeine and sugar fixes. 

Monday, 15 September 2014

#30to30: Day 9 - Tantrums, Sureties and Pride

There are days when I still wonder if this is all a huge temper tantrum, a reaction to feeling out of sorts and slightly slighted. Am I just angry? I don't think I am. Or maybe I'm just frustrated and drained by all the drama. It's not as if I've lost my passion; if anything, I am still too passionate about it to let it go in peace.

Then again I've been thinking about it too long for it to be an overly played out tantrum. It's been in the works for months now, maybe even a year (I haven't exactly been tracking it) and there's just a little bit of surety about it, as if I know that it's right, even when I don't. It's difficult to pinpoint; just as hard to say if it's wrong as to say otherwise, but it also seems like things are slowly falling into place and staying there.

Pride is still sometimes an issue - holding my heart in check, holding my thoughts in check. Always keeping in mind that it's God who's behind it and before it and around it and through it all.

Sunday, 14 September 2014

#30to30: Day 10 - on prophecies

At CLE:Y on Tuesday, we talked a little about the prophecies surrounding Jesus' birth, and then we got somehow sidetracked into talking about prophecies in general. Reuben brought up a question - when you're prophesied over, do you just wait for it to happen or do you chase after it?

I don't think you just wait for it to happen - if God's word for your life is that you will touch people through your music, you don't just sit back and wait to automagically become great at music, as if you just click a button and download skills into yourself. Obviously, God's giving you talents and opportunities, but you also need to seek ways to improve your skills and get better at what you do. You need to seek His heart for the people, and ultimately, His timing for it all.
Then again, you don't chase after it to try to make it happen either. Abraham did that, and Ishmael was the result. (Random joke: to solve the Middle East conflict, all you need to do is take the Tardis back in time and eliminate Ishmael before he grows up). I guess it's a balance of both - working at what you can work at, and trusting God for the rest.

And sometimes... things just happen without you doing anything. And you don't even know why, except that it's been spoken over you. Way back in 1999, this random prophet was in town (I don't even remember anything about her) and I wrote down what she said. It's one of those things that I record and forget about, find it again when I clear up stuff, and now it's on my desk. Looking at where I am now, I'm seeing parts of it coming true, especially the last bit.

I don't really know how to minister to people. I want to be a potato and not do anything. Or sometimes I want to be an elephant and sit on them. I don't really know what to say or what to do, except to say random comforting words, send random emoticons and cute photos... and to ask if we could pray, though sometimes I don't even know what to pray about. But I suppose it's part of His plan. And if He's putting me in these places, He's going to give me the right words... or emoticons, anyway.

Saturday, 13 September 2014

#30to30: Day 11 - on writing

Yesterday I spent 1.5 hours in Nando's writing a script for the next #215live on Oct 4. It's still a first draft - probably will need to be tweaked, especially the beginning and the ending, but I suppose most of what I think should be in the play is already there.

I didn't really have to crack my head too much about it - I was given the theme of the next #215live a few weeks ago, kept it in the back burner of my mind, read up on Jonah, and when I finally sat down to write (I was supposed to have done this a while ago) it just kind of spilled out through my fingers. This is totally different from when I sit down and try to write a script for Short + Sweet. I cracked my head for ages, wrote and rewrote several pages, and ended up missing the deadline anyway.

Any clue on why this is?

The only thing I can think of is... "it's God."

Friday, 12 September 2014

#30to30: Day 13 & 12 - the art of complaining

I was going to write a post solely on how the disappointing the new Nando's rewards system is, but KK said I was supposed to do a blog series which had something to do with my reflections on turning 30. I didn't exactly say I was going to do that, but it has been moving in that direction, somewhat, so I decided I should write about complaining instead.
Only I had a meeting yesterday night and when I got home, I was too lazy.

The thing about growing older is that you often get more sure of yourself, what you like, what you dislike, what you can put up with and what you can't. I've never really been one to complain and make a fuss when I get bad service or bad goods or stuff like that. I just suck it up and never return. Oh, I do tell people I know, of course, but I don't really complain directly to the shop, or wherever it was that miffed me.
I suppose that's something I'm learning how to do - how to complain nicely and to get appropriate responses from the shop/staff. Sometimes people just make a fuss and end up not really communicating what it was they were upset about because both sides are up in arms and being aggressive. That... doesn't really accomplish anything.

Maybe it's just in the way you phrase it - being firm and yet gracious, willing to listen in return, giving respect where it's due.
It's not easy. But it's necessary.


So anyway, pros and cons of the new Nando's system:

- you get free chicken every 3, 6, 9 'chilis', which is way faster than the old system where you have to collect something like 500 points to start redeeming useful stuff.
- the membership thing is now a free app - so you don't have to worry about losing the card, and you don't have to pay the membership fee (though that was only RM10)

- on the other hand, a chili is only counted on a bill of >RM30, excluding tax and service charge, which means I have to eat more at each visit. My usual order of 1/4 chicken set + ice lemon tea only comes up to about RM28 after tax & service charge so I definitely have to order something extra, like a soup or a dessert or something.
- the chili is counted per receipt, so going in big groups doesn't make a difference anymore. I can't sapu like a gazillion points one shot just by going with lotsa people at one time.

I dunno. I can't decide if I like it or not.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

#30to30: Day 14 - when the church isn't perfect

I was having dinner with a friend the other day and she mentioned that she's at a time where she's just going to church and disappearing after that. My reaction was: what's the point in that?
It's not as if I haven't been there before. Sometimes you just appear in church for the sake of going to church, because it's what you do as a Christian. Muslims go to the mosque, Hindus and Buddhists (well some variants) go to the temple, so you toddle off to the church like a good religious person.

The point of church isn't just church. If all you want a good singing session or great sermons, you can get those on the internet for free, probably better than any you can find in a local church. The point of church (and here I circle back again) is growing to be more like Jesus as a community. That's why you get involved in ministry. That's why you join a cell (or care or small) group. That's why it's called a body: because you need all the different parts and different types of people to come together to make things work. A body is not going to function if all of its members just show up for two hours once a week. That would be... a zombie. *braiiiinnnsss*

Her defence was that she didn't feel welcomed, that it was hard to fit in. She couldn't really find people with which she could click "so easily, like all the other groups she hangs out with." Been there, done that. Sometimes you suck it up, and self-insert until you feel comfortable with it. *waves at random people in San Jose. Or not*

It would be nice if everyone in the church were nice, accepting, accommodating people who bend over backwards to make you feel happy and comfortable and a part of them. It would be awesome if everyone in the church thought the same way, or had the same culture, or were in agreement so that everyone would be happy and clappy and awesome.

But the church isn't perfect. People aren't perfect. And that's what the church is - people. There will always be people in the church you can't see eye-to-eye with. There will always be things that are done that make you just so hopping mad you want to bash something. There will always be situations where you critically say, 'that's not Christ-like'. That doesn't mean you should up and leave every time it happens.

Because you know what? That's what your next church will be like again.

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

#30to30: Day 15 - I'm running out of things to say

I'm hitting the midway mark and running out of things to say so I'll just post a random picture! :)