When an airplane disappears

Tick.
Time seems to stand still.
Eternities passed before the next -
Tock.
piece of news filtered
in, which didn't say much either. When
Tick.
will daddy come home?
The children ask, not knowing the pain,
Tock.
the anguish it brings
in its innocence. Wait and hope, wait-
Tick.
and pray, wait and wait
For the miracle that may never
Tock.
happen. But may. 'Cos
no one knows yet. And maybe no news
Tick.
is good news or no
news is worse news. I guess it depends.
Tock.

---

Because fiction is how I deal with thoughts I am incapable of processing.

Official Malaysia Airlines announcements
Where is MH370 - curated Tumblr
Mirror.co.uk - Live
Reuters - Timeline of events

In search of my innate Malaysian voice

I don't listen much to TED talks, but this caught my eye whilst browsing Facebook.

I identify with her in many ways, growing up reading British and American books, growing up writing stories that have a very Western slant in my extremely Asian surroundings. I believe it was Shamini Flint (or was it Preeta Samarasan?) who talked about something like this as well in last year's Georgetown Literary Festival, questioning why there aren't stories about our Malaysian experience, about the things that make us, well, us.

I'd like to believe that my writing has started to change in recent years, that I'm allowing my innate Malaysian voice to emerge more and more. The yellow-haired princesses of my colouring books and early writings have changed to brunettes and black-haired vixens, and yet, there is still the fact that even my choice of words in writing still reveals that bias. 

Maybe it's my lack of proficiency at my own national language or my supposed mother tongue. Maybe it's the tail end of anglophilia that still has its grip on my heart. Or maybe it's a subconscious mindset that I need to start changing.

Either way, there needs to be a Malaysian Voice to support this growing awareness of who we are as a nation. Even as people are standing up to be counted politically, yearning to make a change, there needs to be a new Voice of literature standing up to pull us together, saying, this is who we are. This is what has shaped us. 

Not just for us.
But so that others can understand us too.

#bookreview: The Reluctant Prophet by Nancy Rue

The Reluctant Prophet: A Novel by Nancy Rue
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Reminiscent of Charles Sheldon's In His Steps, The Reluctant Prophet follows the story of Allison Chamberlain as she gets a divine nudge to do crazy things - like buy that Harley Davidson she doesn't even know how to ride. And care for that broken prostitute and her loud-mouthed son who have just lost their father and grandfather. Allison isn't always certain that she's hearing God's voice right, but that doesn't stop her from doing her best to follow what she believes is His will for her life.

Rue addresses several issues in this book - the call of God to take care of the broken and the downtrodden, the religiosity that has crept into the church, and the ability of one person, who opens her heart to God, to start making changes in her community. One of the things I liked about this story was the way it dealt with doubt and faith - and not knowing all the answers. It opens a place for dialogue for people who are struggling with their calling, especially when it is not quite accepted by the church.

Another thing I think this story addresses is the fact that people in the church can and should do ministry with the help of non-believers - one of Chamberlain's greatest support was her fellow HOG, Chief, who's quite a skeptic about God.

The book is not without it's faults: sometimes things just seem to fall into place too easily and too quickly. Sure, Rue is showing that God is sovereign and he uses our background and past even before we knew Him to equip us to do what He wants us to do today, but I would think that a more faith-driven approach might have been a better touch.

On a whole, The Reluctant Prophet was a great read - one of the better Christian fiction I have read in a while. This is the kind of thing that "Christian fiction" needs more of. (Well, I think so anyway).

View all my reviews

I think I'd go far enough to say that this is one of the kinds of books that I'd like to be writing. (Besides awesome swashbuckling, epic type fantasy saga, ahahaha). I just think there needs to be more real stories out there about faith. Not the types where everything is peachy and kind and nice and the worst problem you face is that you're not getting that promotion you wanted, or the guy you had your eyes on has fallen in love with someone else and you're so sure you're going to be single for the rest of your life, but things that talk about what true love in action looks like.

But things that make you question your faith and how you're living it.

#fridayflash: Son of the Sun, a snippet

He walked on unseeingly until he had passed far beyond the town before he stopped and looked around him. The verdant forest around him hummed with life and he stood in awe as he watched birds of bright colours flash across the skies above him, lighting from branch to branch. He leaned against a large rock, listening to the stream that bubbled nearby. He wanted to plunge into the water, to hide his pain and disappointment in the hands that had held him all this time. He wanted to float on its waves until it led him back home.

"Why do you sigh so loudly, little human?" a voice of endless wells said softly into his ear.

"Who are you?"

The rock beside him moved. "Does it matter who I am before you answer my question?"

Danis scrambled away as a scaled head raised itself and a bright gold eye looked down at him.

"I suppose it does not, O Great Dragon," Danis said, stammering. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was leaning on you."

"No. Most of you do not until I reveal myself," the Dragon said. "But you have not answered my question yet."

"I sighed because I could not find a wife. None of them would have me."

"And this wife is important to you, little one?"

"I suppose. Everyone of my age has one."

"And what is this 'wife' that everyone has but you do not?"

"A wife - well, a wife would be my partner and my love. We would raise children together and -"

"Ah, you look for a mate!" The Dragon looked ponderously upon him and Danis wondered if he was quite safe. "Why is there none for you in the town?"

"They say I am too old."

"You? Old? You are but a fraction of my age and I too have yet to find a mate."

"It is different with us. We do not live as long as your kind do."

"Hm, I suppose so."

A silence fell between them as the dragon continued to stare at Danis and Danis nervously backed away a step at a time.

"I apologise for disturbing your rest," Danis said. "I will go now."

"Wait."

Danis turned back to face the dragon's two burning eyes.

"Go north, little human. Go north until the winds blow cold and you walk on water. Go north, and there you will find her." The dragon blinked once, twice, and then it spread its mighty wings and flew away with a might rush of wind, leaving Danis' words floating unheard behind it: Is that a prophecy?

There was no answer to his question and all the forest was quiet now, his voice having frightened away all but the hardiest predators. He pulled his cloak around him, hugged his pack of bread and continued on the road. 

---

So this is a little snippet of a WIP that has been in progress since... 2012. Darn. That's a long time. 

Anyway, I thought it would be a nice teaser to the overall theme I have in mind for the A to Z challenge. 

Don't forget to reveal your theme with us on March 21! (Details and sign up here)

Also, the first ever A to Z twitter chat (#AZchat) will be coming to you Friday 2/28/14 at 6pm EST. Find out more here. 

P/S don't worry if you miss it. We're hoping to make it a weekly thing! 

#bookreview: The Mind Readers & The Mind Thieves by Lori Brighton

The Mind Readers by Lori Brighton
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Cameron Winters has always been the freak mind reader trying desperately to appear normal. Then one day, Lewis shows up and tells her that there are others like her. Defying her grandmother, whose only wish is to protect her, she runs away with Lewis for the promise that Aaron, her father's friend, will be able to teach her all that she needs to know about how to use her powers and to protect herself.

I downloaded this on one of my frequent "free download" sprees and opened it only today as I had a long transit at the airport. The book had me engrossed and I'm off to get the second one to continue the story!

The Mind Thieves by Lori Brighton
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

So Cameron Winters finally has a semblance of a normal life until a mysterious man named Maddox barges into her life claiming that he's been sent to bring her to her father - except that her father has been dead for over a decade. Things spiral out of control when armed men chase after her, and she is forced to trust him after being separated from her grandmother.

The only problem I have with this book is that Cameron is bouncing back and forth between who she trusts until you get a little confused yourself. I suppose that could be part of the suspense...

View all my reviews

I suppose I'll get round to reading the third book, The Mind Games, soon.

Glorifying God with your talents (Be yourself!)

So I have about 1.5 hours in the San Francisco Airport until my plane boards. I figured that's enough time for one post, even though a post normally takes me about 2 hours. Hah. I just have to be less long-winded then. Or less picky. Or less... distracted. (Definitely less distracted. Shoo, facebook!)

I've been kind of wanting to write a proper proper post for a while now, but have been busy travelling and then being distracted and then being tired and then being busy working and then... you know, life doesn't just want you to sit down and reflect and have a cup of tea and write rambles sometimes. But since this is down time anyway...

Well, during one of the cell groups I attended here, Iris asked "what do you think God is speaking to you about?" (or something along those lines). I think the biggest thing for me, which has been felt over and over again every week at church, is just the feeling of release, that it's okay to just let go and do stuff, because it glorifies God. I'm going to need to backtrack a long way to explain this properly, I think. I'm not even sure if I know how to explain it properly.

A gazillion years ago (or maybe about fifteen?), we were having one of those cell group days when it was just us faithful three - Josh, Fran and I. So we decided to just do extended worship (I think we walked out for supper after that, or that could have been another cell meet) and I remember Josh saying something like that I would bless people with my song, with my harmonies. (As you can tell now, I don't have a very good memory.) And I kept that word, because it was precious to me.

Then somewhere along the way, I became afraid. Self-conscious. Part of it was the worry that I was wanting to sing, wanting to do all this stuff for my own ego, because I liked doing it, and because I was good at it. Part of it was the introverted me getting shy when the spotlight came and when people praised me. And I think what confused me a lot was that strange feeling of wanting to be praised but not knowing how to respond to it, mixed with the feeling of not wanting to be praised and letting my gifts glorify God, jumbled up with the voice that said if no one notices or acknowledges what I'm doing, I'm just not good enough.

I don't know if anyone else feels the same way. (Please raise your hand if you do. Virtually, of course.) The question I think I really had was how do you know if you're doing this for God or for your own pride? I guess this is especially relevant for any Christian involved in stage ministries (singing, music, writing, - anything that showcases a visible talent) because it's easy to start serving in these ministries for God, and then get distracted and start doing it for your own ego. And all the while telling yourself that you're doing it for God.

Anyway, I guess what happened was that I started holding back. I didn't want to stand out, I didn't want to seem like I was showing off, I didn't want to push stuff, because of the thought "what will people say?" (I struggle with this a lot). And I felt what God has really been telling me this whole while is, I've given you talents for you to USE them.

So I tell myself - It doesn't matter what people say. It doesn't matter if I'm singing too loud. It doesn't matter if I look weird. It doesn't matter because if I'm doing it for God, and if my motives are pure, who is man to judge me?

This is especially crucial for me at this time, because my head is running full steam ahead with a gazillion plans - a new musical on the way (hopefully!), a creative arts team to start up, a whole creative arts network to build across Malaysia. The check is always to remember why I want to do this - not for myself, not for the glory, but to be able to build a ministry, build a place where people, creative people, can mirror God's beauty and creativity in our world.

There's much more to be said about this, but there are announcements and signs going up at the gate although there's another half hour to go before boarding but I get antsy about this kind of thing, so I'm going to stop here.

I don't know if it's made much sense because I don't have time now to read through the whole chunk of text I just vomited out but I hope it makes some sense to you.

So, goodbye America.

I'm on my way home. :)

Honor Among Orcs Cover Reveal

Honor Among Orcs

by Amalia Dillin 

Designed by: Melissa Stevens (Website)
Publication Date: April 1, 2014
Series: Orc Saga, Book One
Genre: Fantasy (18+)

After nearly a decade as the king’s whipping-girl, Princess Arianna has no intention of going quietly into marriage to some treasonous noble, or serving obediently as the king’s spy until her death is more convenient. When she discovers a handsome orc, chained and trapped inside a magic mirror, Arianna cannot help but see a lasting freedom from her father's abuse.

Left to rot inside a mirror by the king, Bolthorn never imagined his prayers would be answered by a princess. Nor did he ever expect to meet so worthy a woman after knowing her father’s cruelty. He needs her help to escape the mirror before the king marches against the orcs, but all he can offer Arianna is ice and darkness in exchange for her aid.

If Arianna can free the monster behind the glass, perhaps she might free herself, as well. But once they cross the mountain, there will be no return, and the deadly winter is the least of what threatens them on the other side. Romance blossoms in this gripping fantasy adventure.


EXCERPT

He knew these woods, sparse as they had become, and when they broke, he knew the tundra of the foothills too. Just before dawn, he found the outcrop beneath which he had made a shelter his first night beyond the mountains, and though he did not dare to light a fire, the sedge made a soft bed.

After a meal of apples and cheese, the last of their food, Arianna curled against his side, sharing the fur, and rested her head on his shoulder. He tested her forehead for fever and breathed his relief when she did not burn against his palm.

She tugged his hand away, a small smile curving her lips. “You worry overmuch. There are still two days of warmth before I must fight your cruel winds. I will be well enough for your mountains by then.”

His fingers lingered against her skin and her smile faded. He traced the clan-markings on her cheek and her lips parted, her heart thrumming in his ears.

“Bolthorn –”

Up the bridge of her nose and over her eyebrow, the umber flaked from her skin, coloring his fingertip. Down along the line of her jaw, to the pulse point beneath. Her breathing hitched. He only wished the marks had reached her collarbone, to give him some excuse to trail his fingers across the smooth skin there.

“You make a beautiful orc.”

“Not a Vala?” she asked, her eyelashes sweeping across her cheek.

“The Vala cannot marry.” The sunlight caught in her hair, flashing reds within the rich brown and he smoothed the soft, wild strands from her face. “They cannot bear children, or know the touch of any kind of man after they have made their vows. They know only the ancestors and the mysteries they reveal.”

“Oh,” she breathed.

Oh. It was the first thing she had ever said to him, trembling against the stone. She trembled now, too. As she should, he thought, knowing herself within the arms of an orc. He closed his eyes and drew his hand back. This was a dangerous game to play with her so near, so vulnerable.

“Sleep well, princess,” he said, his jaw tight against his need. “You’ll want your strength.”

She made a noise in the back of her throat, but when he glanced at her, she had turned away.

About the Author

Amalia Dillin began as a Biology major before taking Latin and falling in love with old heroes and older gods. After that, she couldn't stop writing about them, with the occasional break for more contemporary subjects. She lives in upstate New York with her husband, and dreams of the day when she will own goats--to pull her chariot through the sky, of course. 

Amalia is the author of the Fate of the Gods trilogy from World Weaver Press, and the soon to be released Orc Saga, coming April 1, 2014. You can learn more about her work at www.amaliadillin.com

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