Julian hated new beginnings. They tended to emphasise how much he had failed in the previous task. Instead of hearing "look, you get to start over" all he got was "look how many times you've already failed." Because if he hadn't failed, he wouldn't have to start anew, would he? No. He would just have continued building on his successes and become even more successful.
A new year was always a new beginning, so he always felt depressed at the start of the year, wondering how and why the last year had gone so wrong. Except that it hadn't, really. It had had its bumps but overall it had smoothened out pretty nicely. So why was he so morose?
Because it was new, and he didn't know what to do with shiny new things. Oh well. He would just have to dirty it up a little and then he'd be fine with it.
Which was why he was standing awkwardly in this crowded place full of young people gyrating, not able to hear a thing above the blasting music or feel anything except the sweat dripping off his face. It was too hot, too loud, too crowded and he felt too old, too out of place, too unwanted. He put down his glass of orange juice, which had taken him forever to order because first of all, he couldn't locate it on the menu, secondly, the waiter couldn't hear him and thirdly, who drank orange juice at a new year's party?
There was only a tinge of regret at the waste of RM15 as he left the party suitably irritated enough to not think of it as a new year at all, but as just another annoying waste of time. Now he could get on with life.
Stephen Gately once had an album with this title.
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