Friday 22 September 2017


Walau sekalipun ku berjalan
She's standing 
between light and dark 
life and death 
truth and lies--
Yet she's pushing forward, 
striving, always striving, 
remembering that 
the enemy's gate is down 
Dalam lembah yang kelam
It's harder than it seems 
wavering between 
progress and regress 
entrance and egress
and sometimes--most times--
both look the same. 
It's inertia
a stuttering
a stopping
a void
Ku tak takut kar’na Kau besertaku
But depression is depression even if you're functional 
because you're high functioning until you're not
Yea, though I walk
And when you break 
into tiny pieces
your head says you must move
but your body says you can't
and your spirit says you should
you have the power of the Holy Spirit
but your flesh is stronger
so much stronger 
than your will
so you stray
Through the valley of the shadow of death
You are a dichotomy of the
heart that knows it's wandering
and the mind that holds on to Truth;
the soul that's lost and hurting
and the spirit--
     the spirit is at war with itself
I will fear no evil
And the enemy's gate is down
So you will crush them under your feet
once you find where your feet are
and how gravity works
and where the rock on which you stand stands
but only if you will let go
let go of all that binds you
in passion and in want
in desire and in lust
for the things you do not have
cannot have
maybe will never have
because that is how it is
and maybe you will find once you stop looking--
    although you know that that is not true
For Thou art with me
Between light and dark
life and death
She stands
Neither choosing one nor the other
Because all she sees is a shimmering grey
And sometimes it is enough
Just to trust.
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me


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