Sunday 31 March 2013

#fireplace: audacious prayers

I didn't really intend to go up for altar call. I hardly ever do anymore. I guess I'm jaded about the whole go up and get someone to pray for you thing because oftentimes, I'm this invisible persona in the front where everyone else and their dogs gets prayed for before someone goes "oh, you're still here. Do you want to be prayed for?" I usually give up by that time and go home. Yes, extremely jaded, I know.

But I went up anyway. And this line was repeating itself in my head. Give me Penang. 

I'm like, what? You know, like, really?

Give me Penang.
Give me Penang for Your glory.

And I think it ties back to the things I've been thinking of for years now. Thinking of, but never really quite managing to do, as much as I wish I could. And yet somehow working towards it, slowly, surely. I stumbled across an old post here, which says this:
NOW pursue in faith and prayer, seeking to do His will in its perfect time.
New beginnings and the birthing of a vision will take time and hard work. It will not happen over days, weeks or months, but over a span of YEARS.
But it will not fail.

BELIEVE that this will be the first year in a span of many, the first birthing year for the laying of the vision, the communication of the plan and the gathering of the people.

There may be no fruits. There may be failures, tears and trials. But YOU have been anointed and commissioned by the prayers of the saints, the laying on of hands and the anointing of oil and if you hold on to that anointing, believing in faith and without doubt, you will see these things come to pass.
It comes back to something Pastor Kul Bal said during his sermon last Sunday - what are the graves in your life? What are the things that are holding you back? What are the things that are distracting you from your main purpose in life?

And the thing is that I'm distracted. I'm distracted by so many things that's happening in church and out of church. I'm distracted by GCF and EAGC and Headstart. I'm distracted by worship leading and the worship team. I'm even distracted by trying to get involved in drama and creative arts outside of church. I'm distracted by the craziness of my work and the deadlines I have to meet. All these things aren't bad in itself. They're good. They're things that need to be done. They're things I'm good at doing. But the thing is, it's not my primary focus. And because I am doing all these things, I'm not doing what I feel I should be doing: building a creative arts team. 

Something has to give somewhere. I'm stretched too tight, because they need people. And they do. And I'm sorry. But I have to stop running around in circles and stop wishing.

Give me Penang. 
Give me this space as my theatre, my workshop, my dance hall.
Give me Penang for You.

Sometimes, I frighten myself.

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