Sunday 8 September 2013

#fireplace: Is your laziness stronger than your passion?

2 Thessalonians 3:6-15
It's funny, how after finally having time to myself after eight months, I immediately turn into a huge lump of lard that just wants to laze in bed and read books. (Fact: I've read 10 books since leaving KPMG on 22 August. That's ten books in two weeks.) What happened to all the grandiose plans of *ahem* helping the worship team, starting a creative arts team, editing that book, writing and blogging consistently?

It's coming. I promise. I just need this to run its course.

The problem, of course, with the fallacy of "running its course" is that the course never ends. The current of laziness and apathy and just plain sloth merely prolongs itself into infinity, because, you know, procrastination.

And the problem (since I seem to like defining problems) is that we (you; I) think that time is our own. That what I do or do not do has no bearing on anything or anyone but myself - but that is inherently untrue. The time I spent being a total complete utter bum yesterday could have been spent in building up the saints in church. It could have been spent drafting (or rather, redrafting) the mission and purpose of building a creative arts team in church. It could have been spent editing that manuscript. It could have been spent writing the book reviews I signed up for. But no - it was spent reading a book that didn't need to be read (on any urgent basis), and surfing facebook and the internet. (Though maybe there is one good outcome: this post. Er, well, I hope it's good.)

Is your laziness stronger than your passion?

Mine seems to be that way right now. The effort it takes for me to get "bum in chair, fingers on keyboard" seems like wrestling with a hungry man-eating lion. It's like climbing Mount Everest; no actually, it's like me trying to hike up Penang Hill. Penang Hill is at least somewhat possible no matter how improbable - Mount Everest will never happen. It's easier to continue reading another book because "writers need to read too" but when you're consuming at the rate I have been, it's quickly becoming a gorge fest, with no end in sight.

Sometimes I give the excuse that I don't do what I think I should be doing because I don't know what to do. The truth is, I don't know what to do because I'm too lazy to think it through, too lazy to work it through, too lazy to pray it through. I have vague ideas that I think I should do, but really, I'd rather be reading the next book on my never ending to-be-read list. I'd rather just be talking about it, because, you know, talking is easier than doing.

I long for brilliance, but all I have is mediocrity.

Just for the sheer reason that I have not set aside the time. 10,000 hours to become an expert in your field, isn't that what they say? There is time needed for reflection, for thinking, for work, for discipline. It's not discipline for discipline's sake, but discipline for the sake of the Body of Christ, for the sake of the saints, for the sake of your salvation - not that you are saved by what you do, but that by what you choose to do (or not to do) you work out your salvation in faith and works, purifying yourself in the fire of His truth, by the Word that does not return void. And if you, by your inaction, stop the work of Christ in and through your life, you become a blockage in the artery that seeks to send forth the Word.

In the parable of the two brothers (Matthew 21:28-32), you have the brother who says no initially, but then does it anyway, and you have the other brother who says sure, I'll do it but never gets round to it. And that's the thing isn't it? We refuse to commit so that we can be justified in our laziness, saying "we did not promise," and we quote the verse saying "let your yes be yes and your no be no" (Matt 5:37) glibly.

But we did. We promised. Not explicitly, no. But we promised. We promised to follow the Lord in His leading. We promised to follow the Church and leading of the pastors, and unless you have a revelation from God, duly considered, that this is not where you personally should go, you void that implicit promise through your inaction.

Does that sound harsh? Maybe it is. Maybe I'm overreacting over two weeks of feeling lazy and anti-social. Maybe I'm just needing to be alone to recharge. And yet maybe it's true.

Maybe this apathy, this sloth, this inaction is what's holding you, and the church, back from being the spotless bride that God wants you to be.

I know it's holding me back.

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