You’re cold and hard and lonely and I want to comfort you, but you don’t want comforting. It’s not just professionalism or “clinical” like some of the fellows here. I know, it’s my job, but I do care. That’s why I became a nurse. To make people feel happier in their saddest times. To let them know they are loved, that they’re wanted and cared for even if they’re alone.
You’re so alone, Vivian. You don’t want to let me in. I mean, you listen to me sometimes, you laugh and you seem welcoming for a while, but when I leave I know you freeze up again, stuck in your lonely little tower. Maybe you laugh at me a little because I really don’t know what you’re getting at sometimes. I don’t know what to say sometimes, because you make me feel stupid with your big words and your sarcastic voice. So I just try to be my kindest even if I don’t understand.
I do wish I had taken poetry. It’s not just empty words. I do wish I had learnt something of it, if only to be able to connect with you in some way. It’s all you know, and it kills me that it’s something I cannot give to you as part of my care. As part of my love.
You and Jason are so alike. Always thinking. Always puzzling things out. You’re so smart that you’ve forgotten what it means to be human. What it means to love. What it means to care for someone… and to be cared for. I imagine you as a young lady sometimes, maybe about my age, and I think about you falling in love – but I think you’d only fall in love with his brains. Or with his words. With his ideals. But you can’t live on those, sweetheart. You can’t.
I overheard you asking Jace if he would miss people. I don’t think he would. I don’t think he’s capable of it. But I would.
I would miss you, even if it’s only to hear you laugh at me.
Preliminary character work on Susie Monahan from the play W;T by Margaret Edson, which is slated to show on June 16 & 17 at PenangPAC.
I also started on a Susie/Jace piece, but didn't have time to complete it. I should probably work on it before the next rehearsal.
Which makes me think that Semicolon doesn't work because I didn't do enough character work. I thought I knew them enough, but now I realise that I never wrote their monologues and first-person pieces, not like I did for A Place to Call Home.
So yeah, that needs more work.
Also, second last day to use the Smashwords coupon for 50% discount on Coexist. Talk to me if you need one ;)