“Where is your faith?” you ask. I answer, “In you alone.” Walk with me in that peace today, O lover of my soul, protector of my way.But one day you were Jacob, and the next you were Israel, and there was no in-between. There was just that struggle, that late night fight; bloody tooth, nail, claw, clinging on desperately for the blessing, the change, anything that would take you from this fear and deception into... peace.
Because that was all you ever knew, wasn't it? That if you didn't fight for it, you'd never get it. It was never yours. Never granted. Always stolen, always torn from its rightful owner. Who didn't even want it. And it's fight or flight - hell, it's fight and flight. Because you knew you couldn't stay. Not when you'd taken everything he'd grown up taking for granted.
But the blessing was yours because you wanted it.
And then you had to go back. Because your blessing was tied to the land and if you weren't there it wasn't yours and then what would have been the point of all that fighting? So you headed home, half your heart believing that God would do it, God would protect you, the other half freaking out because you don't want to die.
Not that you wouldn't fight death itself for the blessing. And it felt like it, wrestling with the angel, grasping again for the blessing, afraid. Afraid of being left behind. Afraid of being overlooked. Afraid of being not enough. Afraid, even after all He's done, that maybe, just maybe, this would be as far as you'll ever get.
And to your surprise, you got all you've ever wanted.
You've come up victorious, no longer the Supplanter, the Trickster, but the Man who Contended with God, the One who has Prevailed. The blessing is yours. Your life is given back to you. Your faith is sealed. You've finally found peace. And you're Marked.
Your hip will never be the same again, but that's a small price to pay for having fought with God and not died.
Genesis 32: 24-31
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