Tulen’s eyes lingered on his face thoughtfully. “Magda is always telling me to let go.”
“Yesterday, you mentioned your brother?”
“I—He died. It was my fault. I couldn’t protect him. Couldn’t save him.”
“How did he—”
“I wished him dead, so he died. He was annoying and I wanted him out of the way. It was suffocating, taking care of a little child, having to always make sure he was alright, never getting to do what I wanted. I… I hated him and I wanted him to die.”
“I don’t wish for things anymore, Adam. Wishing for things hurts.”
“I don’t understand. Is this… a power? Magic? How can you just—”
“In the end, it’s the same, isn’t it? I don’t understand you, you don’t understand me. There was only the two of us left. I was supposed to be his big sister, to protect him, keep him alive. Keep him safe. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
“Eyad wanted to go up to the cliffs. I told Telus he couldn’t come. He was too young. I wanted to spend time with Eyad. But Telus followed us. He followed us and he was up on that cliff and I was angry. I hated him. I told him to go away, go jump off the cliff and kill himself. I wished so hard with all my heart that he would just die and leave me. Stop annoying me. And then he screamed. And… and all that was left of him was broken bones at the bottom of a cliff.
“I was selfish. Evil. And Telus paid the price. I hate myself. Now you too can hate me.” Tulen turned her face away, tears streaming down her face.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Adam reached out and touched her hand. She drew it away quickly.
“It is. The bells tell me every day, Adam. Every day when they call the faithful, they sound my death knell. He is dead. You killed him. Cursed is the hand that kills.”
“That’s not what they say.”
“That’s what they say to me. Every single day for the past six years. I am so glad there are no bells here.”
“So you go to the holy city to find your absolution.”
Tulen nodded, using the palm of her hand to wipe away her tears. “I don’t know if I… if I will…”
“The Reverend thinks you will.”
“Magda doesn’t believe in absolution.”
“What do you believe?”
“I… I don’t know anymore.”
And this is my copout from actually writing a post.
Hope you enjoyed that extract! :D
Nice extract, is it from a longer story on your blog or a novel?ReplyDelete
It's an extract from a novel I'm working on :)
Oh interesting, I want to read more now!ReplyDelete
There will probably be more extracts coming up ... as I don't think I can write 100% new material for A to Z.Delete
Very sad. Is she at fault? Hard to say.ReplyDelete