#AtoZchallenge: You Make Me Brave

There seems to be two titles of this song - half the lists put it as "You make me brave", the others title it "Make me brave."
But since this says "Official Live Music Video," I guess this should be the right title. :P

This is kind of like a follow on to Oceans, for me at least. I guess the basis of it is really the story of Peter getting out of the boat and walking on water to meet Jesus.

You make me brave
You make me brave
You called me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way
You make me brave
You make me brave
You called me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises you made

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On an aside, spiritual metaphors aside, I really am afraid of drowning. I don't know how to swim and I have a fear of putting my head under the water, even if I know my feet are touching the ground. And I really, really, really, really hate getting water up my nose.

So all these watery/oceanic songs are really... something else.

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I was going to end there, but I guess I needed to write more about this.
I guess fear is a thing that I struggle with a lot. To which Daniel pointed out 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Which I agree with, but is sometimes easier said and remembered than walked out and practiced.

The first I recall praying for this - "to be brave" (or something like that) - was, I think, at Encounter weekend (sometime maybe in 2004? 2005?). It's not that I'm afraid of everything, or I'm nervous or shy or timid. It's not that kind of fear.

It's this feeling of being too small, of being too insignificant, of being forgotten and passed by, of being too wrong for all the things that I want to do. This feeling of being overwhelmed at the enormity of what God has intended for me. The huge question of "but how?" that paralyzes me every time I say "yes" to God.

I make plans. I write things. I prepare. But half the battle is in getting it out there, in telling people that look - we're going to do this, okay because it's so much easier to be lazy and to wallow around in a dozen books. And when I finally do them, I'm overwhelmed by all the things that need to be done and go I'm never going to do this again. But I do. And half the battle is believing I'm good enough.

Which is why this song resonates so much with me. The cry that says You make me brave because I'm not brave enough to do this on my own. I'm not brave enough to write this on  my own. I'm not brave enough to dream this on my own.

Because I'm overwhelmed way too easily.

But You're not.

And no fear can hinder now the promises you made.

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And because this song, and this story apparently needs more add-ons (as if it weren't long enough), I have a big scary decision looming in the future.
Well, I think I have decided but that doesn't make it any less scary.
And I don't want to decide wrong, though I don't think it will come to that.

It's just that I don't know where it's going to take me and that addresses one of the biggest fears and challenges in my life: uncertainty.
Pray for me. Pray with me.