of two minds

somewhere along the lines of:

who am i, 23 and it's all a lie
thought i knew who i was
i thought that You were here with me
but this darkness is breaking everything in me
and these infinite questions have shattered all the peace

but i won't question in the dark
what is true out in the light
i will follow after you
through the sun and through the night

cause You've got me right where You want me
yeah, You've got me right where I need to be
yeah, and i'm standing amazed

where did it go, 33 and it's gone so fast
thought i knew who i was
i thought that You were leading me
but this depression is crashing in on me
and i'm not the half the man i hoped i'd be

but i won't question in the dark
what is true out in the light
i will follow after you
through the storm and through the fight

cause You've got me right where You want me
yeah, You've got me right where I need to be
yeah, and i'm standing amazed
Amazed/Jason Roy/Building 429

leading up to:

come like You promised You would
i want to surrender for good
i know that i need You and i don't
want to keep living life alone
so take this heart and make it new
make it true make it like You
take my hands i lift them high
they're yours not mine to do

do what You will
do what You will
do what You will

i feel like a blind man in Your sight
i know that i'm wicked in Your eyes
so wash me and make me shine like Your
Son, i want to tell everyone that
You're the only one

i'm ready now, i'm ready now
i'm ready now, do what You will
i'm ready now
i'm ready now
i'm ready now
Ready Now/Jared Anderson/Desperation Band

But it's not quite there yet.