Monday 8 September 2014

#30to30: Day 16 - on being single

I suppose as you grow older, priorities change. You stop believing in fairy tales; romance takes a backseat and practical considerations come to the forefront. Considerations like "are we compatible emotionally and spiritually?", "do we have similar/compatible passions and goals in life?" and "is his character stable?" become more important than "is he romantic?" and "is he cute?"

While having tea in Berkeley, Monica asked the question, "What are you looking for in a husband?"
The word that most readily came to mind was this: stability.
Which, I suppose, may seem strange because I sometimes feel like a rock in the middle of the stream when everything is going crazy and I'm just... there, because that's where I've always been and I refuse to move. And yet behind the seeming steadiness, I feel like a whirlwind, a tempest, a coming explosion, a jack-in-the-box, a time-bomb, and I need someone who can look me in the eye and say, "It's going to be okay. Calm down."

It wasn't meant to be this way. I was supposed to fall head-over-heels in love and get married some five or six years ago. I "fell in love" a few times, but it was never mutual. Or maybe it was, but I never realised, because he never said a thing. I became adept at pulling away, hiding my heart and my interest. Maybe I do it too well now. I don't know.

But people always ask questions I cannot answer. So maybe I'll just set the record straight right now.

To the question "why aren't you seeing anyone right now?" the answer is "no one is asking."
To the question "how come you've never dated?" the answer is "no one has ever asked."
To the question "aren't you just being picky?" the answer is "if no one is asking, who am I being picky about?"

Thank you for asking.


  1. The rock you are looking for will come when you least expect him ;)