Saturday 20 September 2014

#30to30: Day 4 - on being feminine

It's funny how something simple like painting your nails suddenly makes you feel just a little more feminine, even if none of your other habits or the way your dress changes. Okay, maybe the way you dress does change for a little while, while the novelty of the nails are still fresh and you still feel a little more pretty than usual.

I'm not a very feminine person. I don't really care about painting my nails or putting on make up or dressing up. I rather like dressing down, actually - I grew up a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal. Which makes people think that I'm a sporty kind of person until I disabuse them of the idea.

Sometimes I feel that my lack of femininity is what makes me unmarriageable, as if my lack of skill in sewing and cooking and housekeeping makes me undesirable. I think to myself that maybe if I dressed up a little more, giggled a little more, pretended to be more soft and nurturing, some guy would actually like me. Maybe if I didn't have a career, or if I acted more like a yes woman, deferred to authority and not act so headstrong and stubborn, someone would have maybe asked me out.

But then I would be a lie.
And that love would be a lie.

I will not stop being me just to be more feminine.

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