Friday, 17 July 2009


"This is Caspian, Sir," he said. And Caspian knelt and kissed the Lion's paw.
"Welcome, Prince," said Aslan. "Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?"
"I - I don't think I do, Sir," said Caspian. "I'm only a kid."
"Good," said Aslan. "If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been a proof that you were not. Therefore, under us and under the High King, you shall be King of Narnia, Lord of Cair Paravel, and Emperor of the Lone Islands"
excerpt from Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis

This conversation often runs through my brain when I think about the GCF in Penang. Of course, it's nothing as impressive as being crowned King, but still, it's the taking up of leadership, of responsibility.
Often, I feel inadequate. I feel small and weak. In the main, I feel stupid and frustrated. At the core of me is a nugget of fear. Why am I here? Why am I doing this? I'm not old enough for this, not strong enough, not man enough.
And yet it feels right. It feels like I'm stepping into the unknown, ready for an adventure. It feels like taking fear by the reins and letting faith reign.
So maybe he's right. If I had felt myself sufficient, it would have been proof that I were not.
Because this way, it's really not me. It's Him.


  1. hey gal.. u have the whole bunch of gcf-ers in Penang to support you. :)

    we strongly have FAITH in you :)
    and it's definitely thru Him that gave you all the strength to CONTINUE His works!

  2. i don't know that u took up leadership. but i so agree. it's not our strength that will carry us, it's HIS :)

  3. "inadequate, not experienced enough, not man enough" - if it helps to know, i feel like this almost all the time :-S

    GCF Penang and you - are in my prayers :)

    MEIYI, were you saying something about offering your services to GCF for admin stuff? maybe you can ask Anna how you can help her :)