We are aching for the real thing
Pei hated her new home. She hated the dry sand and the harsh winds. She hated the dust and the dirt. She longed for - she paused, wondering what she truly longed for. It wasn't the wet and the cold, surely. She'd complained enough about those. Maybe she just longed for the familiarity of the thing. She just didn't know how anything worked here, if they did at all.
Give it time, Alan had said. She had. She had given it one year, two months and four days. It still didn't feel like home.
The thing that irked Pei the most was the way Alan dismissed her feelings, as if they weren't valid. They'd argued about it; they had decided before the move that this was the right place for them. Logically it made sense. The job here paid much better, housing was cheaper and it was warm.
He wasn't going to move again just because she didn't like it, especially when she couldn't say exactly what about it she didn't like.
|"Come Follow Me" by Ch'ng Mei Yen|
I had a vision, Pei recalled saying six months ago. There was a figure, beckoning me out into the waves. We live in a dream, Alan. We have to break out of this. This is good, it really is, but it isn't true. It isn't real.
Alan had rolled his eyes and said she had been dreaming. What do you mean this isn't real? This wall is real, he rapped against the brick. This drink is real, he picked up his coffee and downed it. What you feel and what you dreamt isn't real. He had stormed off, slamming the door behind him, leaving Pei angry and upset and confused.
The feeling of unreality stirred in her again. One year, six months and one day. This isn't life, Alan. This is death.
Pei forced her eyes open. There was a little pause, then a hiss as her bodypod opened. Shakily, she got out of the pod and stumbled over to her husband's pod. It hummed merrily, the glass slightly opaque to show that it was still occupied and functioning. She looked in and watched his eyes twitch behind his closed eyelids. I'm sorry, I can't live this life with you.
In this darkness light a flame
Based on my #MusicMonday post.